They Call Me the Squanderer

I was in line at Saratoga Coffee Traders today and the young lady in front of me bought me a coffee.  What a pain in the ass that is, now I’ve got to pay it forward by being nice to someone else.

I’ve squandered so many things my whole life, and as I start thinking about it, I feel a deep sense of remorse.

The first thing I remember squandering is when I was in eighth grade. I was already in advanced math and science classes and was doing very well in school.  I was presented with an opportunity which the school system explained to me and parents as a new program for exceptional students to take a computer and advanced technology curriculum in high school which would include a lot of work at both school and at home.  I wanted no part of it.  My middle school buddy entered the program, went to RPI and has worked for IBM ever since.

Actually, the first thing I remember squandering is the chance to make out with Diane Keefe in fourth grade.

Full disclosure, I’m drinking Bourbon.

Those of you who paid attention to the game: remember after the second SF interception by safety Tavarius Moore? Instead of handing the ball to the referee like a professional he ran to the back of the endzone with his teammates and lined up for a posed group photo.  It was then, with about 10 minutes left that I predicted that the 49ers would lose.

I went out for cross country in 11th grade but quit before the racing season started.  I went back to it in 12th grade and got recruited to Siena College.  I became a very good runner, but if I had started a year earlier it  may have opened more college opportunities.  Siena was not the right school for me.

Even so, the education was practically free, and I did not take advantage.  I failed out twice and given a second and third chance I still did not finish, leaving myself 3 credits short.

Kansas City, MO

Prominent conservatives have publicly commented about the “offensive and pornographic half-time show.  These are the same people who support the pussy-grabber who has paid off porn stars and has cheated in his wives. STFU.

I had a pretty good college running career, including a NYS meet in the 3000-meter steeplechase.  After college I continued to run competitively, eventually running an 8:49.33 in the steeplechase, which was a nationally ranked effort at the time.  After that race I decided on a week off to recuperate and didn’t run for a few years.  I eventually started up again, ran well, but not at the level I was capable of.  Had I not stopped I believe I would have done quite well, but again; I squandered an opportunity to do something worthwhile.

I did the dishes during the half-time show as I knew it wasn’t my cup of tea.  Yes folks, when you don’t want to see something for whatever reason, you don’t have to, you can do something else.

The people who were offended watched it anyway.

Time has been around since, well, the beginning of time.  That’s a long time, yet people are still amazed at the rate in which time moves.

While at Siena, I had explored the possibility of transferring to the CIA.  I met with the financial aid director, applied, and was accepted.  I wanted to run cross country however, so I stayed with Siena.  I was just a kid, entering college at 17.  What the Hell did I know?  Perhaps someone could have figured out how to put me on the right career path.

Everyone has an agenda.

We need more mentorship.

People seem surprised when it’s cold in January.

Culinary license is beneficial. Just making shit up is not.

Burning bridges is sometimes necessary as it keeps you from going back over them when you really should not.

I have squandered too many personal relationships to mention.  Some casual friendships, some family.  All necessary and valued.

I was the chef at Café Capriccio in Albany and given significant ownership in the business.  I squandered it because I was not grown up enough to understand what I was given.

I squandered my talent as a chef for a long time by moving around too much.  I always thought the right place was the next place.

I’ve squandered money too often, starting with spending $5.00 on Patty Fitzgerald at Leonard’s Market when I was about 7 or 8.  I didn’t even get a kiss.

I hit her little brother in the head with a brick. I’m not sure he was ever the same.  I’m not sure I was ever the same.

From the time I left the Wine Bar for the last time until I opened Amuse, I accomplished very little.  Amuse should have opened stronger, but I squandered time.  Things are going well with Amuse, and I’m happy, but it should have gotten off to a much better start.

I’ve wasted opportunities, talents, money, and relationships.  The thing I’ve wasted more than anything is time.  It’s a non-renewable resource for which there is no replacement.

I love fried chicken.

As a chef, time is of great value.  In life, time is of great value.  I hope to have learned something here.

My favorite song is Time, by Pink Floyd.

My favorite line from the song is “one day you find ten years have got behind you.”

Let’s hope in ten years I feel better about time.

5 thoughts on “They Call Me the Squanderer

  1. Interesting to me that it was during the time that you were not running that you
    began to seriously explore the art of cooking, as I recall.


  2. Pingback: Still Working on Me – chefsday

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