We’re Different Than Nine To Fivers

For those of you who may be confused:  This is not a food blog.  This blog is about the thoughts, experiences, memories, victories and failures, and world view of an irrational, recovering depressive chef with a fair amount of anxiety that battles alcohol misuse and demons while trying to maintain a family and restaurant kitchen.  While I mostly talk about food, restaurants and kitchen life I also talk about my life which is often affected by working in an industry full of misfits and socially unacceptable individuals.

I have little interest in food blogging.  I thought I did once, but I don’t.  Sharing recipes is not my thing.  I work hard to develop recipes and plates so I’m not about to give them away. Perhaps it’s time for this old dog to get paid. You want a recipe? Google it.

I could try to add reviews to this goofy little blog, but I actually work in the restaurant business and don’t get to go out to dinner that often. It would be refreshing to have more actual culinary-minded writers doing reviews however.

This is a great commentary on on food blogger, The Food Babe.  Just because someone writes about a subject doesn’t mean they know what the Hell they’re talking about.  Heck, I’m not even sure I know what I’m talking about half the time and I know what I’m talking about.

Life in the restaurant business, especially for those of us who work for the dinner crowd is a life that many nine-to-fivers simply do not understand nor do many empathise with.  Our world is on a schedule that often conflicts with the real world and the people we associate with are either the other square pegs or those who don’t realize it’s time to go home.

What seems to be a productive time for many nine to five conformists is the part of the day when we can fit in our leisure time, enjoyable activities, or hobbies since our evenings are spent at our jobs. When most people are enjoying themselves we’re working, so don’t judge us if we spend time enjoying ourselves when you’re working.

Of course, I use conformist in the most affectionate way possible.  Many of us want to be regular people.

If you call in sick to many jobs not much changes. If you call in sick from your kitchen job your co-workers will have to work much harder.

Nine to Fivers sit at their desks and buy tickets to plays. concerts, and ballgames without much regard for their jobs.  We see events and often wish we could go.

Kitchen jobs attract people who cannot sit in chairs (bar stools excluded) for too long, cannot be confined to a desk, and often lack the attention span to do jobs that take all day.

People are often jealous of my wife because she’s married to a chef and must eat great meals all the time.  Uummm, where do you think her husband is at dinner time?

Chefs are plumbers, dishwashers, carpenters, therapists, bail bondsman, taxi services, janitors, career counselors, first aid specialists, customer relations experts, financial planners, students, teachers, human resource managers, referees, scavengers, party planners, delivery drivers, surrogate parents, and anything else that needs doing.

There are three seats in a row open at a bar.  A guy comes in alone and sits in the middle seat pretty much rendering the other two seats useless.  Is he?  (a) clueless  (b) socially awkward (c) a self-absorbed asshole

You need just the right mix of fear and bravery to survive.

I often hold grudges too long.

Don’t get ruffled when we don’t answer your 7 pm text until 9:30.

Turnt, dank, and bae, are understood while they’re, their and there are not.

The cashier, I’m sorry. The customer service representative at the  Hannaford’s after a slightly difficult customer transaction confided to me that she hates her job.

All purpose flour isn’t.

I was thinking of opening a cakery but then I realized that cakery isn’t a word.

The list of people you judge should include yourself.

Here’s the scene:  Tate’s sitting on the toilet, and Stella locks the door and closes it on him.  Enter Dad:

“Tate, can you wipe your tush and unlock the door?”

“No, there’s no more toilet paper.”


It’s more difficult to install a door knob assembly than it is to remove one.

Blamestorming:  Time figuring out who to blame for a problem rather than finding a solution.

I certainly don’t begrudge day people their life-style, but I wish you could all understand us a little more.  We cannot make social plans easily, we miss many events, we are tired all the time, we don’t always eat well, and we tend to socialize after-hours when bars are the only thing open.  We don’t live on a predictable, easy to manage schedule. Bear with us, and we’ll bear with you.



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