500 Words of Nonsense

Some of this is about food and the kitchen. Some is political.  Most is nonsense.

Display your knowledge and hide your ignorance.

People give up easily when someone asks “guess what?”  The immediate response is “what?”  No one even tries to guess what.

I suppose it’s OK for a writer to talk about food with very limited culinary knowledge since I’m a culinarian who writes without very much grammatical knowledge.

Be true to yourself and you will go far.  I was told that in 5th grade by Mrs. Barcher, but I’m just figuring it out now.  Wtf have I been up to all these years?

Every once in a while I need to go to the Walmarts and today was one of those days.  While getting through the experience I made up a drinking game that can make your next Walmarts trip bearable.  You’ll need a flask or a water bottle filled with your favorite booze.  Whenever you see either a significantly overweight person riding one of those hoveround shopping carts take a drink.  If they’ve got an oxygen tank take two drinks.  If you see someone in yoga pants who’s clearly putting ten pounds of potatoes in a five-pound sack then take a drink.  If they’re not wearing a bra take two drinks.   There are more things you could add like people wearing pajamas, but that’s most likely enough to get you drunk in a hurry.  Please, remember to use uber.

Hey lady, your kid running around at Uncommon Grounds bothering people is not cute and he’s not the highlight of everyone’s day.

Beware of smoke and mirrors.  People are often fooled by advanced techniques, rare or expensive ingredients, or cuisines in which people are unaware of their authentic flavors and preparations.

Riddle:  You walk into the Senate Chamber and are asked which side of the aisle is the thief sitting on? It’s a trick question.

The following tacos will be on the upcoming happy hour menu.

Chipotle Braised beef – espresso hot sauce, sour cream, lime cabbage, cilantro

Rock Shrimp – peach and jicama slaw, cilantro, salsa verde

Vegetarian – saffron rice, grilled asparagus, refried black beans, red jalapeno crema.

Let me get this right, the NRA pays political bribes called donations so that it can protect its 2nd amendment right to defend itself against a corrupt government?

If I opened a restaurant and accepted donations only would I be accountable to the government?

I’m just rambling over a tub of coffee.

On line culinary school?

More from the upcoming Spring menu:

Radicchio – green beans, oranges, hazelnuts, white balsamic vinaigrette

Rock Shrimp Pizza – ricotta, bullhorn pepper, arugula, lemon

Vegan Paella – saffron rice, artichokes, asparagus, peas, roasted peppers, grilled ramps, smoked paprika oil

With all the inspirational quotes people post on Facebook I’d like to see more discouraging quotes for balance.

As I sit in the window at Uncommon Grounds and write this crap I watch people walking by and wonder so many things.

I didn’t read this, and it’s not edited.

One thought on “500 Words of Nonsense

  1. Then there’s the guy at Crossgates Walmart who wears shorts and no socks year round, BUT he picks up cans and bottles for recycling.

    Like

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