Post Surgical Buzz

As I recover from my second surgery of 2015, I have some time to write, to catch up on some reading, and to work on some other projects I’ve started.  Unlike the foot surgery, I’m out about one week, not eight.  Most of what follows are feeble-witted thoughts over many hours as I recover (with codeine) on the couch.

“Am I the only one who fills these water pitchers?” I see who fills them, and it’s a valid question.

Customer after being told about the veal special:  “Oh, I couldn’t eat a baby animal, I’ll have the lamb.”

I told myself  “Don’t say anything stupid like you did after your last surgery. ”  Apparently,  after my bunion surgery, I came out of anesthesia talking about my inguinal region.  So I made sure to remind myself as I woke this most recent time not to be an ass. Funny though,  this would have been the time to discuss with pride said region since a young woman gave me a nice haircut prior to the surgical procedure.

“I’m buying medical grade clippers.” Is what I said to my wife as the young lady was gently clipping away.

I should remind myself not to be an ass more often. It’s sometimes too late.

I can count the number of times I’ve been in a cab on one hand.

A couple of nights ago I wrote on Steve Barnes’ Table Hopping blog on a post referencing a long closed Guilderland restaurant called Coco’s. I commented that I once had one of their old banquettes in my home that sat 10.  After a good dose of pain killers I thought it was an interesting snippet. When I read the next morning I realized it wasn’t interesting at all.

I write some stuff here too.

“Take your time with this, just do it quickly.”

There are always plenty of experts, but very few volunteers.

Just because it’s Italian doesn’t mean it needs garlic, and just because it has garlic doesn’t mean it’s Italian.

Sometimes it’s better for cooks to do less. Sometimes they need to do more.  Knowing the difference is important.

I had a dream last night that there was a moss-covered bison crossing State St. in Downtown Albany.

When some chefs have had enough of the kitchen life they retire and become SYSCO reps or work for a retirement community. I can’t see myself doing either one of those things.

I’ll still cook great food when I retire from daily grind of the restaurant kitchen.  In fact, I think I can cook even better food without the restrictions caused by working for the general public.  I’ve dabbled a bit in private catering under the Yawning Duck name and I think the demand for my  personalized dinners and cooking classes in the home will rise. That, my friends is what I see myself doing in the years to come.

Started working on a winter menu last night.  Broth is a theme I’m thinking about, meaning my lobster pho could resurface. Also considering an $18 chicken noodle soup.

Work clean, neat, and organized.

The Miami Dolphins are terrible.

If you want to be a very good professional cook, learn flawless technique first and foremost.  Cooking with heart and soul is essential, but pointless without great skill.

I don’t care if stores are open or not on Thanksgiving, and I don’t care if people go shopping or not. Those folks are free to do as they like, just as you are.  I’m cooking a turkey from Stonewood Farm in Vermont for family. And yes, I’m throwing caution to the wind and stuffing the bird as my mother did for many years without anyone getting sick.

People tend to complain an awful lot.

I’ll leave you with this humorous tidbit I ran across while wasting some time on this here interweb.  It’s from

Customer: “I’ll have a meatball sub, no onion. I’m allergic to onion.”

Me: “The meatballs have onion in them. What else can I get you?”

Customer: “The meatballs only have a little; it’s fine.”

Me: “You have informed me you have an onion allergy. I cannot serve you any products containing onion.”

Customer: *huffs* “Fine, I’ll have the chicken sub!”

Me: “Ma’am, last week you made me remake your food because of a tomato allergy. I cannot serve you any product with tomato.”

Customer: “Yes, you can! I get them all the time.”

Me: “Store policy has changed. I cannot serve any customer any food that may have been contaminated with anything they label as an allergen.”

Customer: “Fine, I was lying. Give me my sub.”

Me: “As you have given me conflicting information I must err on the side of caution. I cannot serve you tomato, onion, wheat, gluten, dairy, eggs-”

Customer: “WHAT! I never said I was allergic to that stuff:”

Me: “Ma’am, whenever you have us remake food we must enter the reason in the register. And all your credit card purchases are saved in the system. Should we look up your purchases?”

Customer: “Get me your manager!”

(I run in back and tell him what’s going on. He gets an evil look on his face.)

Manager: “Hello, ma’am, I understand you’re confused about our new store policy?”

Customer: “Your employee here refuses to make me food even though I told her I am not allergic!”

Manager: “So you aren’t allergic to onions or tomatoes or wheat?”

Customer: “No, I am not.”

Manager: “Ma’am, you just admitted to lying about allergies. So you can either pay for every sandwich you’ve ever had us remake, or get out.”

Customer: *runs out of the store*


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